Twenty years ago the yard was bare, the porch was smaller and didn't have a roof, and the interior was even more drastically different. Little by little the woman that owns this place began making changes. Nearly single-handedly, she landscaped the yard, remodeled the inside of the house, and hand-crafted beautiful peaces of furniture to fill it up.
I witnessed these changes gradually take place. You see, this is my grandmother's house... her home. And nearly every time I visited, from early in my childhood up until this past Easter, there has been some new beautiful addition or improvement to admire.
Everyone has a name they call their grandmother. Gran, Granny, Grandma, Grandmama, Grams, etc. My grandmother is affectionately known as Memama. And it's Memama that makes this house so special. She has put so much of herself into this place that you can practically see her when you look at her garden and home.
Plus there's the fact that my whole, big, crazy family gathers here for holidays, barbeques, and sometimes for no reason at all except to be with family. Memama's house is the backdrop for many treasured photos and fond memories. I've never lived here, but it feels like home. It feels like family. It feels like love.
And if she isn't anywhere outside you can just walk right on in the house to find her and say hello.
Memama continued Pawpaw's tradition of woodworking. I'll never stop being in awe of the beautiful mantlepiece she made for her fireplace. So I guess Memama is here in this room, even if she's not at the table.
"Hey, Memama!" I said when I saw her.
She quickly dried her hands and turned my way.
You can also trust me when I say Memama's greetings are the best.
After that hug and the usual, 'How are ya?/How you been?', Memama always asks where my mama or my brothers or my nieces or nephews are. Because she always wants everyone to visit. She loves seeing her family. She's got many more hugs to give and is always ready for the next arrival.
On Easter it was my mom that she asked about after our hug. "Have you talked to your mama? When's she supposed to get here?"
"I think she was pulling in just as I walked in the door." I said.
"Memama, did I ever tell you what Kyden said when he saw me after I had bangs cut in my hair a couple of years ago?" I might have told the story before.
"What'd he say?" Memama asked.
"Well, first of all he just started laughin' when he saw me." I explained. "Then he said, 'KK, you have the funniest haircut in the world!' " We all laughed loud and hard after I delivered my nephew's unintended punchline.
Her whole home is furnished to fit as many people in it as possible. Dozens of people squeeze in around her tables and sofas on holidays for good food and good company.
"How many great-grandchildren will that make?"
With a family as big as ours it does get challenging to keep up with everyone. My mom is the oldest of seven kids. All but one of my aunts and uncles have children of there own. Actually they all have grandchildren of their own now. Once you factor in second marriages for a few family members, and the fact that we've spread out geographically in recent years... hopefully you can now imagine why Memama doesn't know off the top of her head exactly how many great-grandchildren she has.
It's natural for everyone to move around Memama's house throughout the day. We shift from one place to another trying our best to catch up with everyone.
"Really?" Memama asked. I can tell she's thrilled by the news.
"Right after Joey's graduation." I confirmed. "We should be fully moved by the end of May."
I always wish I could stay longer when it comes time to leave. But my boyfriend and I had a long drive to get home on Easter, so we couldn't stay late.
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Mother's Day is this Sunday. Five weeks after Easter this year. Just three days from now as I write this.
I won't get to see Memama on Mother's Day this year.
I'll never experience any of that again. At least not in this life.
Because less than two weeks after I hugged her goodbye on Easter, Memama's life came to a sudden and tragic end.
Let me pause here to say, I'm writing about my real-life, flesh and blood, grandmother. She really was a beautiful person, inside and out. This tribute to her, my recreations of her and her home in the Sims for this story, don't really do her justice.
Here's a picture of her that was actually taken on Easter, the last day I saw her alive.
On April 17 Memama was one of five people hit by an out of control car while walking/standing on the sidewalk outside of the county courthouse. One of my uncles was meeting her there, and he arrived in time to ride in the ambulance with her. He was able to tell her he loved her as well as hear her tell him the same... one last time. He also held her hand and tried to comfort her the best he could. She made it to the hospital, but the doctors were unable to save her life.
The other four people that were hit, and the driver of the car, survived. I am thankful that this accident was not any worse. But that feeling pales in comparison to all the other overwhelming emotions that I'm feeling. I've experienced the death of family members before, but that usually involved the deteriorating health of the elderly. It wasn't easy to say goodbye then either, but at least in those cases those of us left behind had some time to prepare ourselves.
One thing myself and other members of my family keep repeating is that this death, losing Memama so suddenly is unbelievable. It's truly hard to wrap my mind around it, when she was so happy and so very alive such a short time ago.
As terrible as this loss feels, as much as I wish I would wake up, that this is all just a terrible dream, and as much as I wish I could have just one more of her hugs; I am still able to see some beauty in this time of mourning.
My family has always been pretty tight-knit especially for such a large group, but in the days following the accident I saw my family pull together as never before. There are still some major issues to work out, but I think we'll make it through this intact.
I've always known Memama was an amazing person; she was always one of my favorite people in the world, but since her death I've come to know and appreciate her even more. When you experience loss, you take the time to really stop and admire a person's life. What a wonderful legacy she leaves behind. She has physically left her mark in our world with that special little home that she created. We all plan to keep her home and garden as our gathering place for holidays. And I know I'll still feel her presence whenever I'm there.
She also leaves a rich legacy in each family member left behind. While writing her obituary we finally did that grandbaby count. Memama had seven children, 23 grandchildren, and 23 great-grandchildren. She lived to see so many great-grandchildren, and she was only 71. That's amazing to me.
There's no doubt she would have lived to see even more great-grandchildren if her life had not been cut short. In fact there is one baby on the way now. Leah Grace, who is expected later this year, has gained a second middle name. She'll now be named Leah Faye Grace after her Memama, Linda Faye.
So Memama has truly left us with a wealth of beauty. I'm not surprised, because that's who she was. She created so many beautiful things during her life, from her hand crafted furniture to her gorgeous garden. And she herself was more beautiful than the prettiest flower. My world will never be the same. She will be missed tremendously. I will cherish every memory I have of her, and I will always keep Memama alive in my heart.
I'll always love you, Memama.